I had my first beta on Friday, and my second this morning. Since my RE isn't in his new office yet, they have to send the bloodwork out to a lab, and the nurse advised that she wouldn't have the results in until late afternoon... hopefully by 4pm. So I asked if she would be able to give me my results from Friday. She asked me if I was sure, and all I had to do was say the word, and she'd tell me. I knew I couldn't wait ALL DAY. It's distracting as it is, but to have to wait until 4pm, no way.
She told me that she was sorry, but it was below 5. I knew what that meant, but I was hopeful that maybe I had a late bloomer... after all, it was a 5-day morula, not a 5-day blast... maybe it implanted late... maybe... I had to hold on to that little shred of hope I had left. I anticipated the bad news, but still hoped that it would be good news.
I got the call before 3pm. Negative. :(
I'm just so sad right now. I know I'll be okay... but it's always hard to hear the news when your heart wants to hear otherwise.
So I guess I just wait to start my next period, and let nature take it's course. We'll just have to try the old-fashioned way and see if it's meant to be...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Our Last Hurrah
We put back the last of our embryos on Thursday. We started the day off with 2 frozen embryos, one from my very first cycle of 9/2007, the second from my last fresh cycle (last month). I received a call from my RE a few hours before our scheduled transfer time and he advised that one didn't make the thaw. It apparently dissolved into the solution and was basically non-existent. So we were moving forward with our remaining 5-day morula.
Fred & I went for lunch, then headed over to the clinic for my pre-transfer acupuncture session. Sophie, the practitioner that did my treatment was wonderful! It was the first time I met her, but she had such a warm, wonderful bedside manner, that she instantly put me at ease! About 15 min before the transfer, they had me pop a valium (my other clinic never did that) to relax me...
While going through the session, I had to fill my bladder so that my uterus would be closer to the surface on the ultrasound to make guiding the placement of the embryo into the uterus easier. My RE was running late... I started getting goosebumps because my bladder was so full! Just as the nurse was about to let me "go" (no more than 5 seconds!), Dr. Q arrived. WHEW!!!
The transfer went well, and he was pleased with how my lining looked and with the ease of placement in the spot he desired. Got wheeled off back for my post-transfer acupuncture session, then home. I didn't feel all woozy from the valium like I anticipated, but that was okay. I'm thinking it did work better than I thought since as soon as I got home, got settled into bed and watched a little tv, I ZONKED OUT!!!
I've been in bed the majority of the time since coming home. Last night, since I am still on bedrest, instead of our usual "Friday night noodles" we ordered Persian food and had my sister/brother-in-law and mother-in-law over to share a meal with since they are leaving on Monday to adopt a little girl, Tian, from China!!! At long last, they have received all the authorizations and arrangements have been made so they could go meet and bring home their daughter!
The same day they "get" Tian is the day of my beta results. Hoping that that is a good omen... they will get their daughter, and hopefully I will get a positive beta.
So until then, I will try to remain relatively stress-free (yeah, as stress-free as an full time employee and full time mom of a 4 year old can be) and think postive thoughts during my "two week wait..."
Fred & I went for lunch, then headed over to the clinic for my pre-transfer acupuncture session. Sophie, the practitioner that did my treatment was wonderful! It was the first time I met her, but she had such a warm, wonderful bedside manner, that she instantly put me at ease! About 15 min before the transfer, they had me pop a valium (my other clinic never did that) to relax me...
While going through the session, I had to fill my bladder so that my uterus would be closer to the surface on the ultrasound to make guiding the placement of the embryo into the uterus easier. My RE was running late... I started getting goosebumps because my bladder was so full! Just as the nurse was about to let me "go" (no more than 5 seconds!), Dr. Q arrived. WHEW!!!
The transfer went well, and he was pleased with how my lining looked and with the ease of placement in the spot he desired. Got wheeled off back for my post-transfer acupuncture session, then home. I didn't feel all woozy from the valium like I anticipated, but that was okay. I'm thinking it did work better than I thought since as soon as I got home, got settled into bed and watched a little tv, I ZONKED OUT!!!
I've been in bed the majority of the time since coming home. Last night, since I am still on bedrest, instead of our usual "Friday night noodles" we ordered Persian food and had my sister/brother-in-law and mother-in-law over to share a meal with since they are leaving on Monday to adopt a little girl, Tian, from China!!! At long last, they have received all the authorizations and arrangements have been made so they could go meet and bring home their daughter!
The same day they "get" Tian is the day of my beta results. Hoping that that is a good omen... they will get their daughter, and hopefully I will get a positive beta.
So until then, I will try to remain relatively stress-free (yeah, as stress-free as an full time employee and full time mom of a 4 year old can be) and think postive thoughts during my "two week wait..."
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Cycle #4 Update
Well, things were wonky (is that a word?) from the get-go, so it's no surprise that I didn't complete this cycle as planned. We did have our retrieval as scheduled, but we unfortunately ( or is it fortunately) had to postpone our transfer.
Hope this isn't TMI for some of you, but I was bleeding for a good 13 days... a few days after I stopped my birth control pills, I started spotting. Okay, I'm assuming that's normal, it happened with my other cycles too, but usually stopped within a few days of light spotting. Only difference was, this time it didn't stop (from 4/17 until 4/30). Hmmm. I advised my RE, and on one of my u/s appointments, he checked my lining, and it was at 9mm, which is good for transfer. Unfortunately, two days later it dropped to 6.5, then the next day was around 7.
After some discussion, we decided not to push the idea of getting my lining up to do the transfer but rather, let the embryos go to day 5 and freeze whatever makes it that far, then do an FET (frozen embryo transfer) in the next month or so. To me that makes more sense than upping my estrogen levels and acupuncture appointments... that would seem like we'd be swimming upstream, KWIM?
So I got a phone call that of the 10 retrieved on Tuesday, 5 fertilized normally, and by Friday (day 3), 3 were still sticking around. Sunday will be day 5 (Mother's Day, how ironic) and I'm anxious to hear if any of them "made it" to blast (blastocyst stage).
Amazing the dramatic decline in my viable egg production from my last cycle a year ago. Guess it's true that age is a major factor. I went from 18-22 retrieved down to 10. That's a significant difference. I didn't mean to wait so long, but I knew I needed to be in a "good place" and the right frame of mind to handle all the emotions that go along with doing an IVF cycle, and also the right frame of mind to endure all the injections and other meds. We had the procedure done at a different clinic (though same RE) this time, and I'm not sure if it's my age or if the anesthesiologist used a different cocktail of drugs on me, but my recovery time after retrieval was rougher than I remember... and the bloating and soreness seems to have lingered a bit longer than I remember, too. Thank goodness I woke up today feeling more like my old self. And it seemed to happen overnight. Even my ankle looked "normal" this morning (it's been 4 weeks since my tumbling act... with 2 of those weeks on crutches, ugh)!
So now we go through the waiting game. Waiting to see how many made it to blast, waiting for my period to start so we can do bloodwork in preparation for the FET. Waiting to see how many make the thaw successfully. Then the dreaded 2 week wait of hoping and praying that one of those little boogers take and I get to be pregnant for 38 more weeks.
So here we go again. Another E-Ticket ride on the IF rollercoaster. Will keep you posted.
Hope this isn't TMI for some of you, but I was bleeding for a good 13 days... a few days after I stopped my birth control pills, I started spotting. Okay, I'm assuming that's normal, it happened with my other cycles too, but usually stopped within a few days of light spotting. Only difference was, this time it didn't stop (from 4/17 until 4/30). Hmmm. I advised my RE, and on one of my u/s appointments, he checked my lining, and it was at 9mm, which is good for transfer. Unfortunately, two days later it dropped to 6.5, then the next day was around 7.
After some discussion, we decided not to push the idea of getting my lining up to do the transfer but rather, let the embryos go to day 5 and freeze whatever makes it that far, then do an FET (frozen embryo transfer) in the next month or so. To me that makes more sense than upping my estrogen levels and acupuncture appointments... that would seem like we'd be swimming upstream, KWIM?
So I got a phone call that of the 10 retrieved on Tuesday, 5 fertilized normally, and by Friday (day 3), 3 were still sticking around. Sunday will be day 5 (Mother's Day, how ironic) and I'm anxious to hear if any of them "made it" to blast (blastocyst stage).
Amazing the dramatic decline in my viable egg production from my last cycle a year ago. Guess it's true that age is a major factor. I went from 18-22 retrieved down to 10. That's a significant difference. I didn't mean to wait so long, but I knew I needed to be in a "good place" and the right frame of mind to handle all the emotions that go along with doing an IVF cycle, and also the right frame of mind to endure all the injections and other meds. We had the procedure done at a different clinic (though same RE) this time, and I'm not sure if it's my age or if the anesthesiologist used a different cocktail of drugs on me, but my recovery time after retrieval was rougher than I remember... and the bloating and soreness seems to have lingered a bit longer than I remember, too. Thank goodness I woke up today feeling more like my old self. And it seemed to happen overnight. Even my ankle looked "normal" this morning (it's been 4 weeks since my tumbling act... with 2 of those weeks on crutches, ugh)!
So now we go through the waiting game. Waiting to see how many made it to blast, waiting for my period to start so we can do bloodwork in preparation for the FET. Waiting to see how many make the thaw successfully. Then the dreaded 2 week wait of hoping and praying that one of those little boogers take and I get to be pregnant for 38 more weeks.
So here we go again. Another E-Ticket ride on the IF rollercoaster. Will keep you posted.
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